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Friday, January 17, 2014

The Steven and Chris Drinking Game

Steven and Chris are everyone’s favourite fruit-flavoured lifestyle guides. Their eponymous daytime talk show airs all day, every day* on CBC TV.
Hey wait a second ... 
You love Steven and Chris. And you love day drinking.

It's time to bring those two loves together at last!

So literally, here we go with the totally adorable Steven and Chris Drinking Game!

Every time Steven says 'literally.'
Literally, every second word is 'literally' once he gets on a roll. 
Take a sip.
Every time a guest says 'oil.'
Really measure your sips. The show is an hour long and you'd be surprised how many times oil comes up in beauty, health and food segments.
Take a sip.
Are they making a roux?
This French sauce is a regular during the cooking segment but every time they make it Steven is like, what? A roux? What's a roooux?
Take a shot
The first time Chris says ‘hot mess.’ Do a spit take.
Steven shouts out to his mom and/or dad in the audience.
Awww. So cute!
Finish your drink.
Chris falls down or over during the fitness segment. Gulp.
The first time anyone says 'celeb-inspired.' Take a shot
Every time anyone says 'beautiful.' Take a sip.
Hint: This is the one that is going to get you slowly hammered.
Tap dance hands.
Knock over your friend's drink before she can knock over yours.
Drinking alone? Knock your drink back into your mouth. Do it really jauntily.
Every time someone says ‘focal point’ in a fashion or decor segment.  Take a sip.
For each bracelet that is part of Steven's arm party ...   ... take a gulp.
To get a clear count here, you may need to wait until the food segment when he removes his jacket and dons an apron, or the fitness segment where he wears workout attire. Take an extra gulp if you can see his armband tattoo.
Camera pans the audience to find the lone man in attendance. Chug like a macho man.


*Seriously.  CBC runs this show all fucking day.

For example, if you’re a Bell customer, you can tune in weekdays when the show is on every hour on the hour from 4 a.m. to 8 a.m., then again every hour from 1 p.m. to 5 p.m.

Saturdays, it's only on every hour from 4 a.m. to 8 a.m.

Sundays, you have to wail ’til 5 a.m. but then it's on every hour ’til 8 a.m. It's on again at 10 a.m., noon and 1 p.m.

Prefer to do your drinking at one of the few times not listed above? You can watch online anytime here: cbc.ca/player.

Cheers, beautiful!